1 word that means so much, with infinite ways to describe or define. What stress means to me and how it affects me is very different to how it affects you.

This week was a challenge, I felt that the last 7 days my mind has been somewhere else, not focused on my task at hand. The good news is that I managed to not stress eat my way through the week. Past Jay would have made those excuses to binge eat everyday because the food would have taken my mind off of things going on. Things consuming my thoughts, potential second COVID lockdown, my Uncle in England in palliative care due to contracting COVID in a long term care facility, worrying about my Mother hearing the news of her Brother and not being able to travel to say her goodbyes, my son hurting himself at work (he's ok, but I still worried) and Christmas being my favourite time of year but most likely not going to be celebrating it like years past.

I am not any different than most people with how I deal with stress, I reach for my vice and snowball down a very large hill until I feel that the stress has subsided. I have heard in the past during stressful times, "well at least you don't drink to handle stress" or "at least you can sleep" or "at least you can still eat". These examples show how different we are. No I don't get drunk to make the stress go away but I will make excuses to drink high calorie beer. Sleep has never been my forte so even if I lose 30 minutes then it has negative impact on my overall health. Then there's the eating, when I am stressed there was nothing that could stand in my way. It was day over day until I felt better, if I had to guess I would elevate my caloric intake by a couple thousand a day, everyday.

I managed to keep that all in check this past week but its amazing how crappy stress can make you feel, with that in mind as you can see I only lost a pound. BUT! I'm still down a pound, every step forward even during times where I wasn't feeling it is a win. There were times last week I got into my own head and almost convinced myself to throw in the towel. I feel like I have taken a step into a larger world.

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