So you will see that my weigh in picture will show what I consider a shocking gain. This shows how damaging stress can be on your physical and mental health. I have documented the stress I have been under the last few weeks so I won't go into that again but its toll is evident. Part of this journey is overcoming my Food Addiction, it has been a tough road that is getting more and more bumpy. Food addiction is not as main stream or accepted like the ones we see the most (alcohol and drugs), and maybe it is not as damaging and life threatening but it certainly has the same affect on someones mental health.
Let me ask a question, if you were talking with a recovering alcoholic and that person said "wow, these last few weeks have been tough, I could really use a drink" would your response to that person be "you hate vodka, so just have a couple shots of that, it will be fine"? No, most logical people would not say that because the recovering person cannot and should not have any type of alcohol, no matter if they 'like it or not'.
So let me give you a snap shot of my addiction and why the last paragraph is relevant.
When I was feeling down, I would turn to high calorie, little nutritional value type food. For example, fast food, Kraft Dinner, processed meats and cheeses, chips (good lord, so many chips), chocolate bars and hand held foods (hot dogs, hamburgers) but now I am on a journey of recovery so those are not options. When I am hungry because of stress, just having a salad or any healthy options does not and may never satiate those cravings, so someone saying "well, just go grab a $1.29 McDonald's cheese burger, you'll feel better and its a reasonable size!" is not an option. I have not earned that, I cannot trust myself to just go through the drive-thru and get more, higher calorie food.
Can I be honest...sometimes I look through the Skip the Dishes or DoorDash restaurant menus like they are a Sear's Catalog. When I was a kid I used to do that looking for the next Star Wars toy I might get, but be sad because I know I wouldn't be getting it. Not because my family was poor it was because I had absolutely the best toys but I didn't have that new one...yet. One day I may deserve those treats that bring me immediate satisfaction but maybe not, or maybe I will not want them anymore, who knows. If you've had a similar struggle let me know in the comments below.
May the force be with you